I don’t know about you, but going from a busy, people-focused career to a stay-at-home, writing mode has been quite an adjustment. I’m still adjusting. I don’t know if I’ll ever adjust, but I’m working on it.
Most of my challenges have to do with self esteem. Think about it. When we are out and about and flitting around like butterflies, there are people, at least two or three, that are ALWAYS bragging on us, telling us how wonderful our latest cute top looks, or how incredibly flattering our makeup is. Just sayin’.
Add to that fact my husband, bless him, is not one to brag on or compliment his woman. To everyone else, he touts me to the skies, but do I ever hear about it? Sometimes. Not often, though. If you read this, that’s okay honey, I know you are yelling compliments at me silently.
At any rate, these are the things I’ve noticed since I’ve been working from home:
1. Every mirror I pass tells me I have gained twenty pounds. I have NOT gained twenty pounds, but that’s what the mirrors tell me. I think it’s a reflected image issue. Do I have ‘fat’ mirrors all over the house? I should get new mirrors.
2. It’s too quiet. I am not motivated by quiet. I can think deep thoughts in the quietness, and that is all well and good, but if I am bombarded with too much quiet I tend to think depressing thoughts. Like, how much exercise is too much exercise? Is there any point to exercising? Really? Weigh the wear and tear on the knees, and the sore muscles. Maybe it’s not good to get too much exercise. Or, how much wine is too much? One glass? Two? Should I drink alone? Why not? I’m always alone! Well, until 5, anyway. Might as well drink. Where’s the wine opener?
See? too much quiet takes my mind to unhealthy places. I dare not turn on the TV either, because the news is more depressing, of course, than my thoughts. The TV programs are immoral and disgusting for the most part, so I try to find uplifting music when I’m not writing. If I can make myself get up out of the chair and turn it on.
3. I start to think that people don’t like me. Since I’m not around a bunch of people all the time that do (or pretend that they do) I start to think I have lost my social skills. A trip to the grocery store, instead of a quick errand, becomes a major social event. If people do not smile at me in the aisles, I start to wonder about myself. I do not think this is normal.
5. My cell phone has become my best friend. It is always a short reach away. It feels warm in my hand. It has every friend or potential friend I could ever want listed in my contacts. It often lights up with messages just for me. It holds several really flattering pictures of me, so if I need a dose of self-esteem I just flip to those pictures and study them a few minutes to reassure myself. It has instant access to my Twitter, Facebook and email accounts, which are entirely separate communities in themselves. Wait a minute…
I am coming to an epiphany here. My phone is replacing all outside contact with the world. I think it might help to just…turn it off…or leave it at home when I go out…or…