Category Archives: Humor – Boomers and Aging

KETO Mania

I haven’t had so much fun in years.

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The counter-intuitive KETO-nutso diet really works, I guess, at least until somebody figures out that a diet of straight fat for an extended length of time causes heart attacks, strokes, and way more cellulite than a person ought to display on their thighs.

In the meantime, I’ve lost SIX pounds and it’s staying off and I’m gobbling up every bit of pricey cheese, bacon and nuts I can find. I state this with a great degree of relish, because for YEARS I gave up my beloved cheese and nuts in lieu of the prevailing theory of that era – that fat’ll kill ya.

Over the years,  depending on the fashionable diet of the day, at different intervals I’veexercise 5 given up wine, alcohol of any kind, coffee, cheese, nuts, white pasta and bread, anything with sugar, anything that metabolizes in the body as sugar. As time (and my waistline) marched on, the fads opposed themselves. Fat is bad. Now fat is good. White flour is bad. Starchy vegetables are bad. Low-carb veggies are good. Whole wheat flour-laden stuff is good, but on KETO, anything with flour is bad, pretty much. Carbohydrates on the whole are bad, bad, bad on KETO.

It is both frustrating and confusing that none of the so-called professional health gurus, both holistic and traditionally trained, can agree about much of anything  regarding what is and isn’t healthy regarding weight loss. I’ve yo-yo’d so many times my body is perpetually dizzy. So far, I’ve added back wine and coffee (in moderation) and I’ve been trying out the KETO because so many folks have lost so much weight it is astonishing to me. I just wonder about long-term effects. However, that does not deter me from sticking with the diet because it’s working and it doesn’t look like Reubenesque luscious curves are coming back in a big way. Unfortunately.

Besides, it matters not. I’m enjoying my primary diet of cheese, avocados, bacon, low-carb veggies, hummus, nuts and whatever meat happens to be in the freezer that my husband can throw on the grill. It’s what I was born to do. And as a happy bonus, I look better in my jeans.

Flame on, KETO.grease fire 1

 

 

 

Going Home Again a Wild Ride

going home 1Sometimes, going home again is an emotional roller coaster.

I just returned from spending a week with my eighty-year-old mom.  To say it was depressing is an understatement.  Imagine a hermit crab washed up on the beach upside down, burnt to a crisp by the sun and crinkled into a nub, powerless to flip over, trapped in its shell. That’s how I felt after a week in her house.

The blinds were drawn in a gloomy nod to isolation. The thermostat was set to 85 degrees, about the same temperature as outside. To save on the a/c bills, she said. There was little food in her brand-new refrigerator and she was pencil-thin. Not hungry, she insisted as I pled with her to eat more.

She is still very independent, but her hearing, eyesight, and patience have deteriorated to a muddled mass of confusion. Plus, to complicate matters, she is firmly in denial. As far as she is concerned, she can drive, she can hear just fine with her hearing aids, (I get enough to understand! So what if I miss a few words? Huff, huff, mad face).  If she cannot hear people on the phone, she simply hangs up on them. In the meantime, to communicate with her, I must yell my brains out. She seems to think this is normal, appropriate behavior.

I’ve been back in my snug little house a week now. I’m trying – really hard – to flip right-side-up and uncrinkle. But it’s amazing how thisgoing home 3 particular visit sliced through my best intentions like a Ginsu knife. I reverted to a selfish brat intent on proving my decisions were better than her decisions, nanny-nanny-boo-boo. And in most cases, they actually were, but my attitude was not exactly stellar. Continue reading →

A Friend is just a Friend, but a Cell Phone is Forever

cell phone articleI don’t know about you, but going from a busy, people-focused career to a stay-at-home, writing mode has been quite an adjustment. I’m still adjusting. I don’t know if I’ll ever adjust, but I’m working on it.

Most of my challenges have to do with self esteem. Think about it. When we are out and about and flitting around like butterflies, there are people, at least two or three, that are ALWAYS bragging on us, telling us how wonderful our latest cute top looks, or how incredibly flattering our makeup is. Just sayin’.

Add to that fact my husband, bless him, is not one to brag on or compliment his woman. To everyone else, he touts me to the skies, but do I ever hear about it? Sometimes. Not often, though. If you read this, that’s okay honey, I know you are yelling compliments at me silently. Continue reading →