The Prodigal Returns

The spirit is willing but the flesh is weak. Not to mention sore in several places.

I returned to the gym after a four-month hiatus. My body is screaming at me, but my spirit is smiling indulgently.

My intention was to sever all connection with the gym. Any gym. Ever. The older I get, the more definitive I am about not trying to be perfect. Isn’t 35 years of working out enough? Do I have squat, lunge, push-up and crunch until I’m 80?

No. Besides, due to gravity and the inevitable effects of aging, firm muscle tone is an improbability on the south side of sixty. Which I am not, yet; but it is definitely looming.

So I thought I’d give myself a little slack in the pursuit of noteworthy abs, non-flabby arms and enviably thin thighs.

During the hiatus, I was all about power walking, working in the yard, picking up my 12-lb. weights (conveniently located under my flatscreen) with the hope that I’d knock off a quick set or two while watching Rizzoli and Isles.

Ha! Ha! Lonely, lonely weights.

I feel guilty just looking at them. Even weights need a little attention now and then. Otherwise, I should hide them.

I put my membership on “hold” instead of severing connection because a bright and chirpy sales representative for Brick Bodies would not let me cancel it. She was completely convinced I would want to come back after a few months. She said I would regret giving up the membership because when I decided to come back I would have to pay hundreds of dollars in introductory fees a second time, and go back to an annual commitment instead of month-to-month, which is automatic after completing a year’s membership.

Made sense to me. Also, I realized that everything in the world has a contract and all of us are trapped one way or another. Think about it. DirecTV, Comcast, T-Mobile, AT&T…you name it. Gotta commit to a year, maybe two or pay a huge penalty if you don’t fulfill the contract. Such a scam.

But I digress. Continue reading